Sorry folks, but I am completely at a loss here.  I understand why the Browns are popular near Texas (Johnny Football).  I understand that the Steelers, Packers, and Raiders have a wide reach because they are/were national teams.  But the Rams being the most popular jersey in Alaska flummoxes me to no end.  I mean I could see some Eskimo in Sam Bradford if I try, but that’s not it.  Maybe the brief Michael Sam experiment inspired the homosexual communities in the Great White North?  Perhaps.  But something just doesn’t add up here.

And the Panthers being the team of the Aloha state?  Again, no clue.  Riverboat Ron looks like he could be a Hawaii native, but my thorough investigation (reading his Wikipedia page) says that is not the case.  Maybe the islanders just don’t know that Panthers Steve Smith has evolved into the indestructible force known as Ravens Steve Smith Sr.

Keep up, Alaska and Hawaii.  Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

For more nonsensical NFL football thoughts, follow me on Twitter @TheClemReport


That number: 1000. For 1,000 consecutive days Reitz has walked through the turnstile into Disneyland.  It all began on New Year’s Eve 2011. He’s got the parking receipt to prove it, and one for every day since.  The Huntington Beach resident says it started when he was unemployed and a friend gifted him a season pass. 

“Come here walk around, listen to the music, and you know, and everybody having a good time, and it kind of recharges you,” he said. 

Reitz is now a full-time employee at the VA Hospital in Long Beach. But that doesn’t stop him from coming to the park every day. Some days, he gets on rides. Others, he just talks to cast members or takes photos. He’s certainly the envy of some of Disneyland’s younger visitors. 

“It’s really cool,” said Jackson Quist of Salt Lake City, Utah.  Reitz says he’s not tired. In fact, he says he always finds something different at the park to appreciate. 

“Everybody chooses to do what they enjoy and have fun in, and this is something that I really enjoy doing,” he said. 

The great Detective Bunk Mooreland once said, “A man must have a code,” and although I do agree with that statement, this is ridiculous. Your code can’t be “I spend the afternoons at Disneyland.” First off, he probably comes from a family of complete an utter enablers. Would not be surprised if this guy never played youth sports and was breast fed till the age of 15. And who gives an unemployed guy a season pass to anything? Sure, hey, maybe you cheer up the guy a bit and tell him everything will get better. But a season pass? Hell, nobody can avoid a soft drink there let alone a guy with no job. What is wrong with this country? Can we not tell these people to act their age? Who even wants to go to Disneyland pass the age of 12? Yeah graduating high schoolers go there but that’s only because their school made them and they wanna catch a hand job from a chick from another school who’s also forced to be there.

And you may say, “Hey Brendan, relax, the guy works at the VA now, cut him a break.” No. You don’t see guys hanging out at Chuck E. Cheese for the atmosphere and if they do they’re pedos. This is abnormal behavior and I would be willing to bet a limb he’s a virgin. Hell, he lives in HUNTINGTON BEACH, he’s going out of his way inland to a theme park when he’s got literally one of the best beaches to score chicks and live that Cali-life that everyone wants at his fingertips, but no he wants to stand in line at the Matterhorn. Grow the fuck up, Jeff. You’re scaring the kids. – @SaintBrendan

P.S. He’s definitely the kid who wore this same bucket hat on every field trip in grade school


Harbaugh responds to Dilfer/Deion’s reports: “That’s a bunch of crap.”

September 30, 2014

SANTA CLARA — If there is growing discontent among the 49ers players toward Jim Harbaugh, they have yet to express it to the head coach. “Personally, I think that’s a bunch of crap,” Harbaugh said Monday after two NFL Networkreports that quoted unnamed sources that the players have grown tired of him. Harbaugh, who has an […]

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Everything Keeps Coming Up Giants As 49ers Players Reportedly Want Jim Harbaugh Out

September 29, 2014  A stirring win over the Philadelphia Eagles won’t stop the long-term questions about the San Francisco 49ers’ leadership. NFL Media’s Deion Sanders said on Sunday’s NFL GameDay Highlights that there is significant strain between coach Jim Harbaugh and his players. They want him out. They’re not on the same page,” Sanders said. “I really want […]

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Pop Quiz: Is This A Picture Of The 7 Train During Rush Hour Or A Picture Of Occupy Hong Kong?

September 29, 2014

Time- Police used tear gas, batons and pepper spray against pro-democracy demonstrators in central Hong Kong on Sunday, as tens of thousands joined a civil-disobedience movement that seeks unfettered elections for the city’s top job. The demonstrations, which were originally supposed to be confined to the Central district, continued into Monday morning and spread to various […]

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Adam Schefter Reports That Ndamukong Suh Wants To Play In New York Next Year. I Report That I Just Went 6-To-Midnight After Reading That News

September 29, 2014

Pro Football Talk-  It’s a given that Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh will hit the open market in March. With a franchise tag that would exceed $26 million and the plug pulled on contract talks during the season, it makes no sense for Suh to accept an offer from the Lions after the season ends […]

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Denver Man Attempts Bank Robbery, Fails, Probably Has Gingivitis

September 29, 2014

KRON 4 - The man pictured above is being accused of robbing a bank on the 16th Street Mall and then trying to escape via light rail train, police say. After confronting the suspect on the train, police discovered he was wanted on a felony warrant. Two bank employees then identified Michael Whitington as the suspect, […]

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This week in California

September 28, 2014

Big long week out here in California, with yesterday being a huge day at Sharks’ Fan Fest, where KFC Radio was out and about in full support. We met players, the GM, stoolies, female stoolies and a lot of people who mailtime. Still getting used to be yelled at by my Twitter name or just […]

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The Suitsy (AKA The Suit Onesie For Men) Could Make Cubicle Life 1% Less Soul-Crushing

September 26, 2014

BetaBrand- Jesse Herzog explains his debut Think Tank concept: Welcome to a revolution in apparel for the modern gentleman. Imagine looking professional but feeling like you’re in pajamas. Consider wearing a suit and a onesie at the same time. Welcome to the Suitsy. The Suitsy is a jacket connected to a shirt connected to pants. […]

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Inside The Mind Of A Hardo. Case #1: The BEER 1 Mercedes Benz

September 26, 2014

I saw this son of a bitch at the bank today and I have been racking my brain to figure out his license plate.  My three lead suspects are: A. Beer is #1.  This is clearly the leader in the clubhouse.  Because who doesn’t like drinking beer and being cool?  You ain’t cool unless you […]

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