Bartolo Colon Becomes A United States Citizen. Officially No Longer “Fat”, Just “Typical American”

by @TheClemReport on October 1, 2014

Untitled 2

ESPN- Bartolo Colon’s season ended with more than 15 wins and crossing the 200-inning threshold. The 40-year-old right-hander also became a U.S. citizen, according to Katie Tichacek, a public affairs officer at U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. The ceremony with Colon and his wife Paula took place on Saturday, the day before Colon won the season finale at Citi Field.

There are eight requirements for citizenship (reprinted below directly from the U.S. government fact sheet):

• Be at least 18 years of age;
• Be a lawful permanent resident (green card holder);
• Have resided in the United States as a lawful permanent resident for at least five years;
• Have been physically present in the United States for at least 30 months;
• Be a person of good moral character;
• Be able to speak, read, write and understand the English language;
• Have knowledge of U.S. government and history; and
• Be willing and able to take the Oath of Allegiance.

Alright guys, no more fat jokes about Bartolo Colon.  He is now an American, which means that being overweight is OK and usually expected.  It is hard not to love everything about this square shaped Gremlin.  All the dude does is throw strikes, eat innings, and win games.  That makes him a much better American citizen than guys like Mike Pelfrey and Kyle Farnsworth in my eyes.  If Bartolo had needed a sponsor for his citizenship, I would have been the first person in line to volunteer for him.

I also never knew that becoming an American citizen was so easy.  And based on some of the people I know who recently became citizens of this great country, those “requirements” are more like guidelines.  When Apu tried to do become a citizen in The Simpsons, he had to jump through a bunch of hoops and take a test at the end.  Classic episode.

For more positive spin on the dumpster fire known as the New York Mets, follow me on Twitter @TheClemReport

Previous post:

Next post: