Inside The Mind Of A Hardo. Case #1: The BEER 1 Mercedes Benz

by @TheClemReport on September 26, 2014

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I saw this son of a bitch at the bank today and I have been racking my brain to figure out his license plate.  My three lead suspects are:

A. Beer is #1.  This is clearly the leader in the clubhouse.  Because who doesn’t like drinking beer and being cool?  You ain’t cool unless you drink beer and think beer is #1 while you drive your Benz.  Odds: -500

B. He loves yelling BEER! and wanted his license plate to say the same.  However, the DMV doesn’t have a Shift-key.  After he yells BEER!, he then asks if you know how much this car costs.  He will then complain about the price of every day items, because that’s what rich people do.  Odds: +550

C. He is a functioning, extremely wealthy alcoholic that starts drinking in the morning and changes cars based on what number beer he is drinking.  A longshot, but I want to believe that this guy isn’t a complete dickbomb. Odds: +1200

Verdict: Who cares?   Fuck this guy.  I just needed to get some internet shaming out of me before the weekend got here.  Hope everybody has a good one!

For more internet whistleblowing, follow me on Twitter @TheClemReport

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