The Manning Brothers Are Doing It Again. And By “It” I Mean Making Platinum Goddamn Records

by @TheClemReport on August 13, 2014

Name the last hip hop combo that dropped fire like this.  Kanye and Jigga? Pac and Dre?  Biggie and Puffy (where B.I.G. ghostwrites the entire song)?  This duo drops one song per year and it scorches the entire Earth.  Damn it feels good to have your team quarterbacked by a gangsta.  I need multiple tattoo tears on Eli’s babyface, though.  The Louisiana rap game is back in full force, with a Manning Hip Hop Camp surely on the way.  A few other thoughts:

Believe it or not, if you look up “Brotherly Love”, “Champions”, or “Thug Life” in the dictionary, and you get the same picture for all three.


Having the O-Linemen in the Mannings lives acting as the muscle in the video is genius.  How do I know these guys are O-Linemen?  Because and only because of Chris Snee’s appearance.  The other three could just be members of the late-90’s Texas Rangers and I wouldn’t know the difference. #Steroids.


Who has 4 thumbs and just cuckholded the Robin Thicke “Blurred Lines” look and brought it back for another summer of dominance?  These guys!


Best comparison I’ve seen to date.  Super Bowl Eli = Pegasus.  A mythical creature that is rarely seen.  But when it does appear, it is truly majestic and breathtaking.


I cannot wait for the flood of tweets that have this gif after Eli’s first 4+ interception game this season.  Live by the Eli, die by the Eli.  But if we are being honest, this is the best acting I have seen in a commercial since Mean Joe Greene back in the day.


And then…BOOM, an Archie Manning appearance.  Archie, you old sandbagging son of a bitch.  I love you!  The First Dad of the NFL, folks.


The Manning Face is on the moon.  We have finally made it as a civilization.


Make no mistake about it.  Your mom making “stew” with Joe Namath is one of those things you just can’t unsee.  The Namath/Manning friendship is so hilarious on so many levels.  The bad boy of the NFL teaming up with the most white bread, corporate brand in the NFLPA.  Al Davis is rolling over in his grave.


All kidding aside, an entire channel devoted to fantasy that won’t be ruined by a group of hyenas laughing over each other?  DirecTV, you have done it again.  Take all the moneys in the world.  Everyone’s football boner has officially gone through the roof and it’s only mid-August.  Yahoo for football!  Yahoo for DirecTV!

Final Video Rating: 8.8/10.  Best beat since “Hypnotize”.  Better cameos than Sharknado 2.  And more Combined Super Bowl rings than about 90% of the NFL.  

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