So the Internet has practically exploded today with this question: If you had to assemble a drinking crew of five famous people who share your birthday who would they be? Everyone’s running their mouths saying that theirs is the best and the end all be all crew. Really there is no perfect crew everyone’s gonna have a few duds in there and a few that would be absolute next level booze hounds. I did see one girl had ‘The Big Show, Nick Nolte, James Dean, Kimbo Slice and Danny Tamberelli’ which is perfect if you’re getting into a fight at some point. Like Tamberelli would be the instigator, he’s just got that punk attitude about him that would force the other four to step in and fight. In all honesty, you couldn’t ask for four better people to share a birthday for a bar fight. That’s like the murderer’s row of bar fighters, straight ruthless killers. Anyway, I figured I’d throw in my two cents about my Bday Booze Crew, February 7th. Here we go:
1. Chris Rock
Kind of faded in the past couple of years what with the Madagascar movies and the Grownups disasters but if we’re talking late 90s-early 2000s ‘Kill the Messenger’ Chris Rock you can’t ask for a better guy to keep you entertained all night. Dude is an absolutely legendary Comedian and would have you on the floor all night as you blacked out.
2. Steve Nash
Canadian Superstar, NBA MVP, International Drinking sensation. He’s got back problems so you know he lives and dies by painkillers and booze. He’s the guy leading you into the bar and making sure you get home at night. He’s an assist King, gotta be the ultimate wingman too.
3. Garth Brooks
One of the most obvious choices in history. If you have a country singer anywhere on your list he has to be on it. Plus when he’s finished his eighteenth bourbon he’d just start singing KFC’s theme song ‘Friends in Low Places.’ He signed a deal to perform in Vegas for the next couple of years so it looks like that’s where the party is gonna happen too. No bad angles to bringing Garth along.
4. John Deere
Entrepreneur, inventor, Tractor king. The crew would roll up on the back of a John Deere tractor and somehow make it home on it, either that or end up in a field, parking lot or ditch somewhere. It would also be one of the safest ways to get home if you had to drive; I mean they go like what 10 mph? If someone else on the road that late at night can’t get out-of-the-way, then they’re kind of asking for it right? Tractor on the Vegas strip might get a little dicey but hey that’s way the February 7th crew lives. Ride or die baby, that’s what we do.
5. Juwan Howard
Saw the big man’s name and knew he had to be included. He’s the crafty veteran of the group. Sure everyone on my list is either in their late 30s, 40s, 50s or dead but Juwan here has seen it all done it all. Has gotta have absolutely legendary stories about championships he barely contributed towards and girls that he definitely didn’t have sex with because of those titles.
Well there’s mine and with the exception of Juwan, who is the guy that you really just have to bring along or else you feel like an asshole, I feel like the Mick Drinking Crew can go up against the best of em.
