This Week On Yik Yak: NYC Edition

by @TheClemReport on November 6, 2014


Every week I will break down the best comments of a random college/city from Yik Yak.  I am doing this for 2 reasons:

1. Some of the comments are legitimately funny.

2. I am trying to live vicariously through younger people that are in college or fun cities.

For those of you who don’t know about it, Yik Yak is an app that basically allows people to write anonymous thoughts, which people can then reply to, upvote, or down vote.  Basically it is an anonymous Twitter.  This week, I used the Yaks from the greatest city in the world: New York City.  On to the Yaks:


 That is the most fucked up thing I have ever read in my life.  And I have delved into Twitter wars and comment sections.  This roommate is a full-time resident of Psychoville (with it’s notorious mayor, Ray Finkle).


 Truer words have never been written Yak’d. 


I would say that this is obvious, but I am a guy.   I understand girls don’t want to be seen as sluts.  But if you want to fuck a guy, that is exactly what you should do.  If you don’t want to fuck a guy, don’t fuck him.  That’s fine.  But don’t string him along either.  Stop flip flopping and start doing things that you actually want to do.  Guys will respect that and be happy you didn’t play games like 95% of the other chicks in the world.  And if you fuck them, they will be happy too.  




I like this girl’s spunk (I hope it’s a girl).  But I also wouldn’t put my dick within 10 miles of her.  Easy Friday blowjobs are like empty subway cars during rush hour.  They are too good to be true and will end up haunting you for one reason or another.



 AKA That awkward moment when you realize you dress like a complete asshole.



 That is the most fucked up thing you can do to assert dominance over a sleeping person.  But I like it.



I stand corrected.  THAT is the most fucked up thing you can do to assert dominance over a sleeping person.  But I love it!



 The phrase “Don’t shit where you eat” needs an addendum.  I am officially adding “Don’t cum where you work” to the rule book as well.



 No, no, no.  Fuck YOU for scheduling Friday morning classes.  The only way you could have pulled more of a rookie move is to schedule a Friday afternoon class and miss Friday happy hour.  Schedule night classes during the week.  They rarely go the entire time, are over before anything good happens at night, and free up so much of your week.  



 I went to college for 4 years and never did this.  In the movie Friday, Ice Cube lived in the fucking hood and never did this.  Please don’t do this, college students.  The struggle in college is never THAT bad.  Either put milk in your cereal or eat your cereal dry.  Don’t eat cereal with water.  It’s the only thing that separates us from the rest of the Animal Kingdom.



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