Unused Voicemails with the Mick: D-Day Anniversary Edition

by Mick on June 6, 2014

Gonna try to start-up a new column of sorts here at KFC Radio. For those of you that don’t know, I handle the voicemails for KFC Radio. This means I go through all the calls that come in on a weekly basis to see which ones are good for the show. So if they’re funny I pass them along to KFC. However, not all of em get used so if I think they should be talked about, well then fuck it, I’m gonna speak on it.

This week’s topic in honor of the 70th anniversary of D-Day, is which theater would you have rather served in during WWII? Would you rather charge the beaches of Normandy or duke it out with the Japs in the South Pacific? Before I go on, is Jap still a racist term? It’s nowhere near the N-word right? It can’t still be THAT bad to say, so I’m just gonna say it.

Anyway, let me just say that no one in our present generation, veterans and active soldiers excluded, is anywhere near as brave as those guys. No one is even in the same ballpark. Most of our generation if they were in battle would try to instagram the fighting, with things like #struggle, #sobrave, or some other shit like that. These generations don’t even compare and it’s not even funny. Sad, more than anything.

Caller made the more specific caveat, would you rather land at Omaha Beach or fight in the jungles? It’s really no contest when you think about it. While most of us, myself included, would be shitting/puking on themselves before the doors opened on a landing craft at Omaha, serving in the Pacific was a goddamn nightmare. For those of you that don’t know anything about history or WWII, the Japs were a sneaky bunch. (There’s that racism popping up again.) They had zero problem using civilians as cover and god help you if you were captured by them. They didn’t surrender. They would stick a sword into their stomachs and cut out their goddamn guts rather than surrender. So, think about that for a second. If they would kill themselves, what would they have done to you? The Bataan Death March is a good example of what would happen.

In addition, Japanese soldiers would hide as best they could as American troops advanced in battle. So, just when you thought the fighting was done for the day, BAM here comes some asshole trying to kill you and all your buddies. Say what you will about the Nazis, but at least they knew when they had lost. That’s also not me saying Go Nazis, but yeah, you get it.

The way to look at it is, if you made it through Normandy, you served literal hell on Earth. For however long you were on that beach, if you made it out of there, you had been to hell and back. No one, and I mean NO one, except those guys knows what it was like. So I’ll just say this, if you make it through the fighting and get a chance to go fuck a French chick in Paris, that alone makes the European side of things a whole lot better. The guys in the Pacific were lucky if they had a chance to jerk off without getting sand in their grundle.

So, basically the way to look at this whole thing is that everyone grew up wanting to punch a Nazi in the face. It’s only natural that you would want to serve with the guys that actually had the balls to do it.

“And When he gets to heaven,

To Saint Peter he will tell;

One more Soldier reporting, sir.

I’ve served my time in Hell!”

Previous post:

Next post: